copyright: the above photo was copied from a tweet and altered for angry bird resemblance
No spoilers alert, because I couldn't find any. This is an attempt to save your money. You'll see a tap dance when titles roll and realize they were tap-dancing on your valuable time & money when curtains finally roll!
"Breaking News!!! After several days of sting operations, papparazzis found the reason behind already-famous Aamir's "special" facial posture (pls don't do facepalm yet) in the much hyped dhoom triquel. Aamir was suffering from severe dental pain before shooting & had multiple root canals done. Doctors advised against his full-on acting, especially not to open up his jaws and mouth for a while and subsequently Yashraj decided to delay the shooting. But being the perfectionist he is, he decided to save the situation by nailing his current situation to perfection, inspired by the restrained act in Chennai Express and after watching several movies of the hammy veterans like Raza Murad, Van Damme, Suniel Shetty, William Shartner etc. He is relieved that all the hard work has reaped its benefits & adding another feather to his-already-full crown - Aamir Hammer Khan; apart from accumulating a few 100 crores which he never bothers about. Fans are going ga-ga when Google news search on hammy acting brought their idol's name first. They were also delighted by the second half of the movie, which had a special neanderthal acting rivaling the legendary hammy acting. Spoof experts who were planning to make a spoof after the movie releases, but were taken aback after seeing the movie, since the movie itself is a spoof of its own."
Jokes apart, it's not the expectation from Dhoom series that was disappointing, instead the much-desired-quality-makeover that everyone thought, Aamir would add to the franchise (considering how Hrithik Roshan shaped up an exuberant Dhoom-2). And how he blowed it up. That Uday Chopra with his self-despising jokes was entertaining than Stiff-faced Aamir in the first half says a lot! Movie's first half was so sick, my family really became sick and still recovering [totally non-relevant medical information removed]. Movie could have started from second half itself. Apart from having a few catchy moments (for whomever didn't passed out or leave the hall after first half), second half of the movie has another "special" acting which rivals hammy acting - it was quite neanderthal. Logic & Story & P(l)otholes apart (not that you expect any from this series), I guess Aamir wanted to give a serious try to one of his rare commercial appearances off-late, he tried a little too much and never got to do any of his trademark "ghost-direction" on the script. Honestly, this is a taste of one's own medicine to the junta who adored movies like chennai express, krishh3, r...rajkumar, g(r)and masti and all other trash out of rohit setty & prabhu deva units, while cinematic gems like Lootera flops. We deserve this.
Apart from a plethora of records, one thing Aamir broke for sure, is a section of audience who trusted him above the conventions of bollywood and Khan-Dramas - quality of acting and perfection. A day when even the always-perfect-khan fell prey for the 100xCr booby-trap. Not anymore, looking at the return in investment on this new era. And that's the whole point of this rant.
Just saying: IMO, the only person who didn't have to change much to accumulate crores and win more people ( not that there's any scope to change on his acting :) ) - is Salman Khan. He just pumped his action sequence a bit and even stopped baring his ribs a lot. No, i'm not a Sallu fan, rather this comes from a SRK fan and an Aamir admirer. It's all about expectations.
Note: if you thought this was a shitty headline to draw attention, that was was the point. so was the movie. Just pure satire, take it easy! Dead horse is now officially dead, don't beat it anymore!